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Hello my name is Renee , I’m 40 years old and a mother to 5 lovely children. One of whom was in a horrible car accident. On December 14,2022. Ken was a passenger in his friends jeep. They were coming back from camping. Someone hit them, causing the Jeep to roll and all three passengers, driver, my son, and my son’s girlfriend. Were all three ejected from the Jeep. That’s the first day of what is now our new normal. Ken suffered a major skull fracture. It was so bad the surgeon said “ I had to pick pieces of your sons skull out of his brain, there is nothing left of the skull to save”. Because of the skull fracture Ken ( my son) sustained a TBI ( traumatic brain injury) bleeding in the brain or membrane layer that protects your brain basically it swells up your brain ventricles and makes your brain swell. We were trying if Ken would most likely not make it past 48 hrs, to have our family come say there goodbyes now. We were devastated to say the least. Ken pulled through that first 48 hrs though . I knew he was a fighter and would make it. Or at least made myself believe it at that point. While in the trauma hospital in icu still. Ken suffered two separate strokes at two separate times. One to each side of his brain . Both going unnoticed and untreated. I remember the day he had the second stroke. The massive one to the left side of his brain that really changed him. He was fine when they woke him up after a few days in a medically induced coma. He was fine after the first stroke to the right side. The day he had the second stroke was Christmas Day 2022. So 11 days after the accident. Which felt like the same day , if that makes sense. Like time just stood still the whole 4 months he spent in the hospital and two separate rehabilitation hospitals. kensjourney After his second stroke when I came the next day for visiting hrs. That hospital had a very struck no overnight guest in icu. I walked into his room that next morning and could tell right away something was not right. Ken wasn’t responding to commands or stimulation, nothing. He didn’t even want to make eye contact with me. It was as if we were strangers or at least I was to him. If I would make eye contact with him or try to talk to him he would close his eyes ( he couldn’t even barely move his body mind you either) I would watch him eyes closed. Then he would peek to see if I was still looking at him. I had the feeling of how you lock eyes with a random person in public and usually one or both of them look away. Ken couldn’t move his head or neck . So closing his eyes was the only way for him to avoid or hide from us. I remember begging the Doctor , my mom begging him to please do another scan on Ken. He wasn’t acting the same. He refused and assured us Ken’s behavior was from his injuries. It wasn’t until they thought Ken had a seizure they finally decided to do another scan on Ken. When they came back the news was the worst it could be. The DR. said “ Best we can tell is Ken had a massive stroke to the left side of his brain about a week ago”. I was furious I can still feel every single emotion that ran through me. We were also told that his spinal cord keeps sending cerebral fluid into his brain causing more swelling and not less like he needed. It was very confusing the trauma Doctor would say one thing . The neurosurgeon would say another. The trauma Doctor told us then that Ken was not going to make it because of the spinal cord injury. There was nothing that could be done. We held a prayer group of four of us for a long while that night. My mom and myself stayed the whole night. I laid on the floor holding Ken’s hand praying to God to spare our son Jesus’s brother. The next morning we talked with the neurosurgeon and he told us that they could put a brain shunt into Ken’s brain that would have a small tube that connected to his stomach. It’s all under the skin. He also said sometimes putting the skull flap back on fixed the issues on it’s own. However Ken had no skull to put back. They used some biological material that is supposed to harden into a bone over time . It’s a huge rectangular shape. I have seen it in his scans. It did not help with Ken’s issue however so we went with Plan B.. the brain shunt. The surgeon said Ken would not have a good quality of life and never get any better then he was at that time . Which was very bad off to say it nicely. He suggested we turn Ken’s feeding tube feeds off and let him pass. We declined. I made a promise to my son we would get through this. And never give up until Ken was where he needed to be. I don’t intend on breaking that promise. I knew then this was going to be a very long and hard road for the two of us. I also knew we could do it because we did it 20 years ago when he was born. My first born. He was such a smart baby hit all his milestones way ahead of time. I started digging further and deeper to find thing’s and ways to help Ken. I got him well enough that e could sit up and be placed in a medical chair again. Ken was becoming more aware. God was answering all of our prayers. Finally Ken was approved to go to a lower level rehabilitation facility. The place was mostly awful . My husband and I moved that way Green Cove Springs FLA hours away from our home. We stayed where we could with help from family. My husband Door Dashed while I was at the hospital with Ken every day. Every day he was getting better and better. They were able to get him off the trachea tube and ventilator. That was such and amazing win for us. One of the most bittersweet moments ever. Ken then got even better and was able to go outside and follow commands again. I knew we would be taking him home as I promised him. I worked every day with Ken very hard. Ken became more alert and well enough to go to Brooks Rehabilitation Center in Jacksonville, FLA. We headed that way with hopes Ken would continue to get even better. The kicker was Ken only had 14 days to do something which he did ! His efforts were amazing! I have never been so proud of him. Even though Ken is now non verbal he is able and has been able to communicate in one way or another of he wants and needs. When we got home I was ready I had been training for what I thought was 4 months. In reality I’ve been training for this my whole life. For the first 14 months it was basically Ken and I. Calls for help were rare when he was in the hospital unless it was an emergency. They are not good at coming anyway. I learned that very quickly. I learned a lot about hospitals and how they work or don’t for that matter. Both Brooks and Kindred had been turning Ken’s feeding off when discharged. Ken's weight was in the upper 90’s in the 14 days he was at rehab ... 94 lbs when they discharged to come home. Another situation that makes me so angry inside. We are coming up in our second year anniversary. It has been a very tough journey. With many struggles, wins, setbacks, good, and bad days. I’ve cried for him in silence for so long. He has no clue. Ken has come so far from everything that was sent to destroy him. Today Ken has improved vastly from where he was that first day. It’s taken so much hard work , long days and nights. So many hospital stays. So many neurosurgeries. I stopped counting at 11. I couldn’t bear it any longer. Every time he went in for surgery I got that same feeling where time stood still and it was just on long hard depressing day. Every single time though Ken and I have worked together as a team and he gets better than he was before the set backs. I’m so proud of KEN . I love watching him do things the surgeon said he never would do again. It’s so rewarding. It fills my heart with faith, happiness, hope, and so much love . It makes all the times I cried in silence worth it. Every bad day or hospital stay, worth it. Being a caregiver and a mother has been the most hardest yet easiest thing I have ever done in my life. I can’t wait to see what’s next. But one thing I know for sure is God is not done yet. The best is yet to come . Ken saved my life when he was born. Now God has giving me the chance to repay the favor. Guest Blogger Bio: This blog is written by Renee, a dedicated mother and caregiver to Ken, sharing their inspiring journey to wellness after his stroke. With heartfelt reflections and practical insights, Renee highlights the resilience, love, and strength required to navigate caregiving and recovery. Follow their ongoing story and find encouragement in their experiences. For more updates on Ken’s progress and tips from their journey, connect with Renee on TikTok: @Kensjourney914

Ashley is a stroke survivor who offers yoga, meditation, and Reiki. After experiencing the healing benefits of yoga during her own stroke recovery, she was inspired to become a yoga teacher. Through her practice, she helps fellow Stroke Warriors feel supported, build inner strength, and embrace their unique journey in the present moment. Building Self-Esteem During Stroke Recovery: Nurturing Your Inner Strength As stroke survivors, I’m sure we can all agree that self-esteem is one of the most significantly affected aspects of our lives after a stroke. Our sense of self-worth is often shaped by our abilities and how we function in the world around us. When those abilities change, it’s common for our perception of ourselves to shift as well—and unfortunately, that shift is often not in the most positive direction. After experiencing a stroke, we may find ourselves struggling with feelings of loss, frustration, and even shame. We might compare our current abilities to who we were before the stroke, and in doing so, our sense of value can take a hit. But it’s crucial to recognize that self-esteem is not defined by a single event or by our abilities alone. It’s about understanding our worth at a deeper level and learning how to adjust our mindset during the recovery process. Here are some powerful and mindful ways to invest in your self-esteem as you navigate your recovery: Start by Becoming Aware of Your Thoughts Awareness is the first step toward transformation. Pay attention to the thoughts that fill your mind when you wake up each morning. As stroke recovery progresses, we often face long, difficult days, and the way we start the day can set the tone for how we navigate the challenges ahead. Are your thoughts supportive and empowering, or are they critical and defeating? By becoming aware of the negative thoughts that may arise, you can begin to gain control over them. Recognizing these thoughts as they emerge gives you the opportunity to choose a more constructive, positive mindset. Remember, you’re in charge of what you choose to believe about yourself! Challenge Those Negative Thoughts What do you say to yourself when things don’t go as planned? Do you beat yourself up, or do you offer kindness and encouragement? We all have that inner voice, but is it really our best advisor? Often, the voice in our heads can be far too harsh, reminding us of our limitations instead of our strengths. One of my favorite reminders during my own recovery journey was: “Tell your negative committee to sit down and shut up.” It’s a funny, but effective, way to remind ourselves that we don’t have to listen to the harsh inner critic. By questioning and challenging negative thoughts, we can gradually shift the narrative we tell ourselves, moving away from self-doubt and towards self-compassion. Adjust Your Thoughts and Beliefs The beautiful thing about becoming aware of your thoughts is that it gives you the power to adjust them. If you notice negative or doubtful beliefs creeping in, challenge them with a more positive, empowering statement. Replace thoughts like “I’ll never get back to the way I was” with “I am doing my best, and that’s enough.” By intentionally replacing negative thoughts with positive affirmations, we create a new, supportive inner dialogue that nurtures our self-esteem. Do Things You Enjoy It’s easy to get bogged down by the challenges of recovery, but remember that it’s important to find joy, too. Make a list of activities that bring you happiness and make time for them whenever possible. Whether it’s reading a book, listening to music, or spending time with loved ones, engaging in things you enjoy is a powerful way to brighten your mood and boost your sense of self-worth. Sometimes, we need to remind ourselves that our value isn’t just based on what we can do physically. Our ability to find joy, express gratitude, and appreciate life—no matter what our abilities look like today—adds incredible value to our self-esteem. Keep a Compliment or Affirmation Jar This is one of my favorite practices, and I highly recommend it. Take a few minutes each day to write down small achievements, milestones, or positive changes you’ve noticed in your recovery. It could be something as simple as managing to get out of bed with a bit more ease or completing a task you once found difficult. Write down positive affirmations and words of encouragement that resonate with you. Place these notes into a jar and set aside time to read them when you’re feeling low or defeated. Whether it’s every morning or whenever you need a pick-me-up, reading these affirmations and reminders of your growth can reignite a sense of pride and confidence. You are a warrior, and your journey matters. Recognize Effort, Not Outcome One of the most important things we can do as stroke survivors is to shift our focus from outcomes to effort. It’s easy to become discouraged when recovery feels slow or we aren’t seeing the results we hoped for right away. But the truth is, recovery is a journey, and it’s often a marathon rather than a sprint. Instead of focusing on whether you’ve reached your “goal,” try to focus on your daily efforts. Every small step forward, every effort you make to try something new, or every time you push through a challenging moment is worth celebrating. Recognize the effort you put in, even if the results aren’t immediate. The fact that you’re showing up each day and doing your best is something to be incredibly proud of. You are a survivor. Be proud of how far you’ve come, not just how far you have left to go. Surround Yourself with Support Self-esteem is not a solo journey. It’s important to lean on the support of others during your recovery process. Whether it’s family, friends, or fellow stroke survivors, connecting with people who understand your experience and offer encouragement can make a huge difference in how you feel about yourself. Support can come in many forms—someone to talk to, someone to celebrate your successes with, or someone to remind you of your strength when you’re struggling. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and help you see your value, even when you’re feeling unsure. In Conclusion Rebuilding self-esteem after a stroke is a gradual, ongoing process, but it’s one of the most rewarding investments you can make in your recovery. Through mindfulness, intentional effort, and patience, you can nurture your self-worth and regain a sense of pride in who you are and what you’ve overcome. By becoming aware of your thoughts, challenging negativity, practicing self-compassion, and celebrating your efforts, you’ll strengthen your emotional resilience. Remember that self-esteem isn’t about perfection—it’s about honoring your progress, however big or small, and recognizing that you are worthy, strong, and capable. So, to all the stroke survivors reading this—keep moving forward with pride. You are amazing in every way, and your journey is a testament to your strength and perseverance. You’ve got this. If you’d like some support through building your self-esteem through stroke recovery - I’d love to connect with you on this journey. Ashley 🌻

Elizabeth Welles is a writer, speaker, storyteller, meditation healer and guide serving people who want to write and tell their story, activate their creativity, reduce their stress, honor their grief, and deepen their peace. Sorrow Speaks: Gather the Shattered Pieces and Lean into Love “Give sorrow words. The grief that does not speak whispers the o'er fraught heart and bids it break.” Even William Shakespeare recognized the enigmatic power that the expression of sorrow holds. How it is possible to witness the shattered pieces of our hearts—and then gather them up through self-expression, even if they never quite fit together the same way again. I think about my grandma from time to time. Her first daughter, Pearl, died when she was just a baby, maybe a year or two old. How did she mourn her daughter? Did she have to push aside her grief to be strong for the family? There were three other children to raise—and later, three more. There were meals to prepare, a husband, and a life to live. And when the pogroms started, forcing the family to flee Romania, her adopted country, and return to the United States, was that another loss—to leave her home and start over again? It reminds me of the women on the prairie who lost children yet still had fields to plow and mouths to feed. How did they grieve? Did they find moments to express their sorrow, or did the grief settle deep within, impacting generations to come? And if they had to move, what was it like to leave behind the gravesites of their children or husbands? In our fast-paced society—with so much convenience yet so little connection—when a loss occurs, be it through death or a non-death loss, we’re still told to “be strong,” to “let it go,” to “adapt,” and to “move on.” We hear endless platitudes encouraging us to cover up our pain instead of honoring it, to put a lid on the boiling pot rather than tend to it. But does this coping truly serve us? Perhaps, for some, it’s helpful. But I imagine many people walk around with wounded hearts, longing for someone to sit with them, to listen, and let their grief be heard and expressed in some way, as Shakespeare advised. Grief longs for a witness—a way to be seen—and an avenue for expression. In my own deepest moments of grief, I didn’t have a community or close friends nearby. I remember being flat-out on the floor howling in pain. And in those moments of anguish beyond any I’ve known, there were whispers— as if an unseen presence gently watched over me, offering solace I couldn't fully grasp in the moment. As if each tear, a story of heartbreak, might provide a nourishment that would sustain me through later days. In the hollowed spaces and hallowed scars left in the heart by loss, there is pain—and there is also a reminder of the love we've known, as if our grief is a doorway back to the love that loss still holds. In the months following my mom’s death, I heard a whisper that said, “Lean into love.” I wrote a poem about leaning into love—a love that still holds me. Though it has been a profoundly lonely experience since her passing, writing has always been my sanctuary—a gateway where I connect to myself and to something beyond this physical world. On this branch of creativity, through our very hands, we are called back to love. I’ve shared this path with thousands over the years, teaching them how writing can offer comfort and creative wings that says, “Here, in these broken pieces, something of you still lives. Let your heart speak. Share your story. Let us hear your voice. Go forth and love.” Whatever your loss, may you honor it in your own way. Let your heart find a voice. The ways grief can find expression are limitless—follow your way. If there’s no one who understands the depth of your pain, find something familiar to you. Pick up a pen, paint, or clay. Walk quietly in nature, light a candle and speak aloud, or sit beneath an old great-grandmother tree. Find what feels familiar to you—whether tending a garden, planting new seeds, writing a story, or building something new, let the simple find and guide you. Express yourself to someone, or to the earth, and Mother Earth will bear witness. She will receive your tears and hear your cries until peace finds you, gently holds you, and loves you back to love. Elizabeth Welles elizabeth@elizabethwelles.com To hear her poem, check out her out on YouTube https://youtu.be/B6oRqRBDML0